Knowledge Is Power

and I am the Proletariat

Nervous and hoping
art
mags_s
This is kind of fun & interesting to revisit. A little hard to concentrate, as I sing along with my online playlist. My Arkansas guy is coming to visit, as he has a race near Houston, and he gets in supposedly sometime tonight. Yes, I'm still seeing him. I am, however, very nervous, as this Monday will mark our 6 month point of dating, (or I should say, at least since meeting at Clear Fork), and guys tend to bail at 6 months. This journal is interesting, because I had thought that Sean loser bailed a bit after 6 months, and from my sad posts before, it looks like he bailed a little sooner than that. So today, I'm killing time, putting off doing my nails & paying rent, as I wait nervously for my Arkansas visitor. He is clearly a better person than that Sean loser (as most people are), so lets hope he sticks around with me. I was going to spend time cleaning my closet, but that poor cleaning girl did that for me yesterday. Poor thing, probably thinks I'm some messy spoiled brat, which I suppose I am. She saved me a lot of aggravation though. Some good karma points for her!
In other big news, I passed my driving exam, finally! Who knows if I will ever be blessed with a car, again, lets hope! But, that has been a huge hurtle for me, as I can also see in my past journal entries. Even just passing is a huge step in gaining independence & feeling good about myself, less trapped, etc.
I am also two classes into my DR certification. Interestingly enough, they seem to be more helpful in this program than counseling. I enjoy counseling a bit more so far, but this is interesting & it is nice to be around helpful and understanding professors and staff. Lets hope this works out for me as well.
As always, I hope I can be happy in life and continue to conquer my hurtles and keep achieving my goals. I really hope I'm never as unhappy again as I was in my past entries on here.

Testing.
garden
mags_s
Wow, this thing is still active? Does anyone use this anymore? Wow, total San Diego flashbacks! How retro, kind of like MySpace.
Well, this could be a fun way to journal. I kind of do on twitter, but they have the character limit, and on there it's mainly for David G.s entertainment. He's the funniest Hasid I know. Well, one of the funniest people I know anyway. Anyway...
It is interesting to see some of these old entries. 5 1/2 years + old? Crazy! Interesting to think how hung up on that Sean loser I was. And yes, he did marry another whale a couple years later. I was clearly too hot for him, too good for him overall anyway. Interesting too to see me bitch about not driving, since ironically, I've finally been blessed to start my drivers training this past Saturday. I love driving! It's so tiring, but I so hope I pass the exam on the 19th. The newfound independence will be so incredible, there are no words.
I still kind of feel the same way about guys and definitely about not wanting to die a spinster. Still no "real" relationships, though I screwed over poor Dave by not having feelings for him and not being as direct as I should have been, which I still feel horrible about. I did apologize and offered to do whatever was reasonable to help, but there's not really anything else I can do. I hope karma doesn't hold all that against me. I didn't mean to hurt him, but I was also in a more negative place then too and he was an innocent victim. I am currently pretty into a fellow hasher and really want him to decide to make things official (whatever that means) with me. I'm trying to take on the attitude that I WILL get married and love is manifesting in my life as we speak (hopefully with him, but for sure with someone I'm attracted to).
Finished grad school, currently figuring out what to do about my licensing exam. Hopefully by January, I'll know a bit more about what this guy thinks and, do I get an internship here in Texas, or a job with hours that count, or will I move out of state before next fall? I've pretty much determined that I'll just hang out here, unless love has me move elsewhere. I'm hoping for the move and for love. I know love will happen either way (positive thinking).

Filled with Valentines spirit...and way too much food
chatting
mags_s
The thing about staying in and making dinner on Valentines Day is, sure you miss the crowds and you get to focus more on each other, but you're also left with about a months worth of extra food. Sean actually ate way more than I did tonight, wich is highly unusual for us. And we barely made a dent in the brownies he made. That was pretty cruel of him to leave all of that evil chocolate behind for me to finish off. Why does VDay have to be on a weeknight, combined with the fact that he has to wake up at 2 am for work? None the less, what a great evening. I feel bad because he got me a present and I didn't get him anything. Well, blame it on my severe lack of experience in actually having a date for VDay. Actually, come to think of it, Jeremy always got my presents too and I never got him anything either. Oh well, I'm a bitch, what can I say?
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In over my head
tired
mags_s
Holy crap! I applied for this job on Craigslist to be the director of education at at church, pretty much on a whim, and they actually want me to come in for an interview. Technically I have the right qualifications, but they'll probably think I'm too young and inexperienced. If I got that job, that would be insane. It would work with Sean's new work schedule, which would be a big plus. I hope I don't bomb the interview. Would definitely be a step up from the whole UCSD admin thing. Bleh!
Sean just spent about 3 hours working on this huge lump of crap I often refer to as my computer. He was very patient with it. It is sooo old and slow, I really need one that was made this century (literally). So now loading webpages has gone from the pace of watching the grass grow, up to watching water boil, so that's good.
Our weekend was really fun, as usual. Went to a superbowl party with a bunch of couples in their 30s. Monday was focused on electronics. He convinced me to get a little pink Zen Mp3 player, which is quite cute, but I'm technologically challenged, so I still need to figure out the little guy. Hmm, I guess we didn't do a whole lot after all, but it's still nice to spend time with him. I'm still a little bit at a distance and confused, since we still aren't official after 4 1/2 months, but I guess all I can do is enjoy our time together and try to be as positive as I can.
I guess I'll have to keep that attitude for my impending interview.

Back from the dead
art
mags_s
Well, it's been awhile since I wrote in here. Probably mid November, when I got the UCSD job. I'll just have to start off with the simple things going on...

Joanna somehow tricked me, with her wiley ways, to work out with her tonight. Now my legs feel like they're about to fall off. Oy, can't imagine what tomorrow will feel like.

Just got off the phone with Sean, so I feel happy. He's great! I've been dating him the longest that I've ever dating anyone, except for Jeremy. I've been worried because, now that he's directing the new Fox weekend show and has to work weekends, I've been afraid that he wouldn't want to hang out anymore. So far, that doesn't look like the case and his asking tonight about hanging out Saturday is very comforting.
Still at UCSD, but actually looking elsewhere as well (if you can believe it). Grants are unpredictable and I FRICKIN' HAAAATE ACCOUNTING!!! Plus, it would be nice to have a job with flexible days, so I can see Sean on his days off.

Louie was climbing around on my computer and stepped on something that somehow got the print super big. Nice in theory, but making this a little challenging to write.

Well, I'll be back with more updates. The holidays distracted me from my important LJ usage.
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Working Girl
dream
mags_s
I've had a crazy past few days. On Wednesday, I got offered that position at UCSD that I mentioned in my last entry. It's very exciting, yet nerve wracking at the same time, especially considering they want me to start tomorrow. I hope they don't want me to do any Excel this week, because I definitely need to practice first. I'm so nervous, but I guess the worst they could do is fire me. I just HATE having to get up at the crack of dawn for anything and, for this job, I have to BE THERE at 8. My first salaried position too. Ooh, fancy!
I'm scared, but at least I had yet another awesome weekend with Sean to distract me. He's so awesome. Things are so great lately (well, excluding the fact that Louie peed on my suitcase for some reason. Well at least it was the black one.) I really hope all the greatness lasts (and that I don't jinx anything by enjoying it so much)! Pray that all the great stuff lasts, I'll do the same for you too! :)

And the Silver Metal goes to...
chatting
mags_s
Grr! I seem to be noticing a pattern with my bigger interviews lately. After my interview with the Ed. dept. at the Aquarium, the girl told me it was down to me and another girl and they were trying to decide between us. They ended up going with the other girl based on a minor thing she had that I didn't. I had a big interview with UCSD in their Ed. Enrichment program this week and one of the women just called to tell me that they are down to me and another person and they are trying to decide now. I told her that I use a magnifier program on Windows today, so I hope they don't base their decision on that. That would sure be messed up though, wouldn't it, for them to say "Well, this other guy can see a little better than she can. Let's just give it to them." Now I have a headache. The night before this interview, Sean kept saying, "You shouldn't be nervous, you'll get it." He's very sweet. That'll be funny if he's actually right. I hope I don't come in second again, but there's nothing I can do if I do...
except for maybe plotting the other candidate's demise. :P
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(no subject)
dream
mags_s
What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The West

Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.

The Midland
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have?
Take More Quizzes
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He did it!
tired
mags_s
Yay! Seanners played my song on the news, just like he said he would! It was right at 8:30 though, so Libby said she missed it by like 5 minutes. He ended up playing "the Breeze," which is one we talked about last night. Hmm, but I'm not sure what to make of the fact that he played it during the toilet racing segment. :P Ruben, the resident flamer, was hosting those, lol. Anyway, that made my day. :)

It ain't a newscast until I hear FREE BIRD!!!
art
mags_s
Oh such news! I went out with Sean tonight (He's who I'm hanging out with now. Guy, who was before him, had very strange intimacy issues, I'll have to get into them later) and we started talking about his work again. He has a really cool job for the FOX morning show, where basically any sound you hear or music played is because of him. He chooses the music going to and from commercial breaks, so I asked him if he'd play Free Bird tomorrow during the show. He said he said he would, or would play something Lynyrd Skynyrd for me at some point during the show, between 8:30 and 9. Oh, I'm excited. Maybe I'll even have to tape it. Yes, it's these weird little things I get excited about. So if anyone in SD is reading this before tomorrow morning, be sure to watch FOX 6 news and hear my song!
So far, he's a nice guy. We found him a Halloween costume tonight and he got me some earings. Very sweet. So be sure to listen for my song tomorrow during the morning show and have your lighter handy! :P
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